In this segment, You Don’t Even Know, I’ll occasionally point out conspiracies that the United States government is hiding from us. All of these theories are extremely legitimate and 100% true. My sources are several message boards that wish to remain anonymous.
Between 1991 and 1993, Conan O’Brien was a writer and producer for the television show The Simpsons. Everything was going just swell, then Conan abruptly left The Simpsons for Late Night With Conan O’Brien. On his talk show, Mr. O’Brien began to flaunt his menacing hair on live television for 16 years and counting. Why did Conan leave The Simpsons when he had such a good thing going? Why must he wave that georgously sexy hair in front of the faces of millions nightly?
I know exactly why. Rumors on the animated set of The Simpsons started brewing. Conan let a nasty secret out. He had to leave.
Flash to October 25, 1998. The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror IX aired on national television, exposing Conan’s darkest secret. A secret that would kill Conan’s career forever. How is he the host of The Tonight Show if his secret was exposed? The secret went over our heads. We were all deceived as a nation.
In this particular Treehouse of Horror, there is a storyline in which Snake’s hair is transplanted onto Homer’s head. The hair then takes full control of Homer and uses him as a tool of violence. How is this connected to Mr. O’Brien in any way? After dusting for fingerprints, I found this evidence -
Look at that smug jerk. It appears as if someone at The Simpsons knew about Conan’s future plan to control the world with his hair and tried to give us a clue. Have you heard about the 2012 Doomsday Prediction? I assume that after it spends a few years making connections connections on the West Coast, Conan’s hair will attempt to destroy the world.
Start stocking up on Nair.
