All Day Late Night

It was a bright, early morning. I was just finishing up a 3 mile run during high school soccer tryouts. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kid running like he was wearing a straight jacket. The straight jacket kid started puking. I told my parents about the straight jacket kid when I got home. His name was Chris Bermanski. My mom suggested I become friends with him to make myself look stronger in the field of puking. Ever since then, she’s been trying to foster a friendship between us two, solely to make my stomach look relatively strong.

Ever since then, Chris and I have had a wonderful love-hate relationship, with much more hate than love. We’ve quite often found ourselves thrown into teammate relationships we didn’t want to be in, mostly due to the threats of my mom. Here are a few of those situations:

• During soccer freshman year, we had to pick a partner for teams and pick a country name for our team. My mom told Chris and I that if we didn’t partner up, she would tell everyone in our school that we were homosexual. We teamed up and named ourselves “Team Chad”. Here’s a picture we took freshman year of high school with this random guy we found:
  

• My mom was on vacation when I needed to shop for the senior prom. Because she knew I would pick out idiot clothes without a motherly figure around, she forced Chris’ mom to take me shopping. Chris’ mom was feeling lazy and picked the same exact thing for us, just in different colors. She gave me purple because she thought I was gay after those rumors my mom spread freshman year.
  
  We’re surprisingly happy for a couple of guys who look like tools
• Chris and I then had a falling out for a good amount of time. Due to an intricate plan by my mom, we ended up reconnecting solely due to a homosexual man trying to hug us.
  
  We’re making grossed-out faces because he’s not wearing any pants

After reconnecting, Chris and I decided that we would be best off never speaking to each other again. Then my mom heard that we reconnected and forced us to make a blog together.